A most brilliant idea has seized me and now intoxicates my blood—I will rush back home to London tomorrow

May 27, 2016 § Leave a comment

A most brilliant idea has seized me and now intoxicates my blood—I will rush back home to London tomorrow, one day early, to see —– at the ——– before she finishes at 7pm! She will be shocked! But how can it be done? I would have to get the night train from Berlin tonight (I haven’t even got there yet). If I can be on Eurostar by 1 I can be back at St Pancras by 4! Thrilling! So go everywhere I need to go tonight, all in one night, which means starting early. Oh I am so excited now! I am going home! To see —– at the ——–! The only extra expense will be the £80 for the Eurostar ticket but I am sure I would have spent that if I had stayed in Berlin a whole Saturday and Saturday night. But I must check train times back to Brussels. How early do I have to go? It might not be possible—unless I FLY from Tegel to Heathrow! Quicker and maybe as cheap! So excited now. Happy. Smiling for the first time on this whole trip. Yes! Fly fly fly home! Two & a half hours I will be back in Berlin Plaza now. Two hours till I arrive, and prepare to leave. Now I am shaking with excitement. I can hardly hold my pen. I note the temple on the hill overlooking Minden (Westfalen) Bhf. It will always stand for something in our relationship. The moment my jealousy became hatred. I am going back because I think I will lose her if I don’t. The moment travelling ended for me. Before Minden. There is a dangerous high in my blood now. If I could go back tonight, Friday, I would, but I cannot, so let me enjoy the last night in Berlin as riotously as I can. I think it will be the last ever. I haven’t felt like this since those train trips to Southend, or to the White Horse Charlton. I am going back because I fear I am losing her.
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