Still I wait for the next great blow to fall. I feel there is another great blow waiting for me just around the corner
January 19, 2017 §
Still I wait for the next great blow to fall. I feel there is another great blow waiting for me just around the corner; one of those life-changing hammer blows that befall us all periodically. I always shore myself together, so when the great flood comes, when some dam bursts, I can float away on my raft that is already prepared. No great flood will ever catch me by surprise; I expect it every day. I always expect one of these periodic spells of being wiped out, thrown back on stormy seas, searching for years for another safe harbour, and having to start all over again. But I do feel low, and scared, and so ugly and loathsome tonight. I can feel the excess constantly around my eyes, the grey rings. Yet I already look forward to a rainy Wednesday, when I am free to do it all again.