My first Grand Tour of Europe was so stressful for more than anything that I did not drink then

November 30, 2017 § Leave a comment

My first Grand Tour of Europe was so stressful for more than anything that I did not drink then. I was completely sober and unprotected at all times. I felt flayed alive every day. My subsequent trips I have been protected by the warming aura of beer. I of course have done much fewer interesting things and noticed much less. Germans were so vicious to me, Swedish were so vicious to me, Norwegians were so vicious to me, Austrians were so vicious to me. People are like wolves to me, as to Kaspar, wherever I go. Someone once called out Kaspar to me from a doorway, I forget where it was.
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Let us say I will pay for my October/November Grand Tour out of savings I am going to make through August, September, October

November 15, 2017 § Leave a comment

Let us say I will pay for my October/November Grand Tour out of savings I am going to make through August, September, October. The other reason why I cannot countenance returning home to mother’s is the long journeys to and from work every night & every morning. So no, I must keep the flat. Everything else can go except the flat. In the last weeks I have spent £2,000, of which £426 was strippers and £524 was drink (a mere £165 and £60 on sex and pornographic cinema respectively, incidentally!). I HAVE GOT TO KILL THIS STRIPPER ADDICTION NOW! So maybe I could save 800 before end of August? Let’s say I aim to get my credit card bill down to 4900 by end of October, then I can go? LET US LIVE LIKE A MONK ALL THROUGH AUGUST SEPTEMBER and OCTOBER. I will allow myself Calcutta only, and occasionally Sunset Cinema and Demi or Pamela. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if on this Grand Tour I could get to see Tosca at Berlin UDL, Maria Stuart at Berlin UDL, The Makropulos Case in Copenhagen, and Elena Prokina in Boccanegra in Hamburg! What a holiday that would be! The thing about going on holiday to Europe is that you get really dirty sex and really dirty sexual encounters. For hell’s sake, I spent 426 on strippers in the last ten weeks and what did I get out of any of it? Not one real dirty erotic memory. Demi was good, yes, Pamela, sucking Pamela’s breasts, yes, with Kay in cinema yes, with blonde in cinema yes. But strippers? No! Convert that £426 into Euros and you get=630 Euros!!! That would have paid for four nights in Berlin Plaza, with 400 Euros left for Ciro, 150 with Arrika, 50 with Maya, 150 with Alla, 50 on pornography! I CAN make the flat and travelling work—BUT ONLY BY CHANGING MY BEHAVIOUR IN LONDON! Sexy things always happen when you travel. Remember the blonde bar girl Best Western Ku’damm? Meeting Nicky in Brussels? Nothing sexy happens in King’s Cross or Sunset Strip. Save ALL your money for travelling!p02jb81d

I think Brussels was so exciting because I knew it was just the first leg of my European tour

November 15, 2017 § Leave a comment

I think Brussels was so exciting because I knew it was just the first leg of my European tour, and after sampling the delights of the Museum of Modern Art, Wiertz, Pullman bar, and Gare du Nord, I could head off later in the week on the long train journey to Köln and Munich, and that night be heading over Bayerstraße to the White Coffin, on Saturday getting the train to Nuremberg for the Pils bar and the Caribic, before then heading off again to Vienna, knowing that Manhattan and ML Revue and Pour Platin were waiting for me, before heading off a few days later for Berlin, knowing that Stuttgarter Platz was waiting for me and the Berlin Erotic Centre. Maybe this time I can finish up in Copenhagen for the Makropulos Case? I want that Interrail pass again! £380 for the train pass, then maybe cheap Radisson hotels in Brussels, Vienna and Berlin? Ah but it is spending money that is the thing. Now that I have given up Sunset Strip and King’s Cross, perhaps my finances will improve a bit? JUST IN JUNE AND JULY ALONE I HAVE SPENT £424 ON STRIPPERS ALONE! What did Pete say? I need to see how it is destroying me. Get this: Since the New Year I HAVE SPENT £1,778 ON STRIPPERS ALONE! What hideous wastefulness on something that I was increasingly starting to despise. If I could have that £1,778 back now, it would pay for the Interrail pass, and every hotel for two weeks, and give me all the whoring money I could ever need. Since moving into the flat on November 17th I have spent more than £2,000 on strippers alone. And it is worse than that, because the vast majority of my drinks bill in that time—£515 in June and July alone! £1,867 since December 10th! has been consumed in the strip clubs. Without the Scotsman and Sunset Strip I reckon I would now be owing just £2,400 on my credit cards instead of £5,900. These are sobering figures. For sure I could go on that long train journey to Europe in December if not for that. PLEASE GIVE UP THE STRIPPERS! Just concentrate on the Calcutta, Sunset Cinema, and Demi and Pamela from now on. By the end of August and September that should save me £900 alone. DO IT. Do it, so I can see Brussels again, I can see Gare du Nord again, I can go to the White Coffin again, I can go to the Pils Bar and Caribic again, I can go to Pour Platin and Manhattan again, I can go to Berlin Ciro again.

I feel now like I did before my first grand tour to Sweden, Berlin, Vienna and Munich in 1999

January 23, 2017 § Leave a comment

I feel now like I did before my first grand tour to Sweden, Berlin, Vienna and Munich in 1999; incredibly small and attacked, yet hoping to learn something about myself in the despair and the black nights and the loneliness of my journey. This is when the wolves all come out and fall upon you.

It is true though that I love those long train journeys across Europe. Just to spend some days alone with my thoughts and my pen and paper

January 22, 2017 § Leave a comment

It is true, though, that I love those long train journeys across Europe. Just to spend some days alone with my thoughts and my pen and paper. Perhaps I can enjoy one last Grand Tour of all my favourite places, before I retire from it. Oh but then a year later I will want one more Grand Tour just for old time’s sake, and it will never really end. I don’t know if I can really give up the solitary travelling. It does fulfill some need I have for solitariness. Like Helmut Kohl once a year would take himself off to a health spa. Last year I travelled to Europe four times and spent a total of 12 nights away from home, away from ——. 12 nights to myself out of 365 is not much is it? Perhaps I should allow myself just one Grand Tour a year, and in that tour go to all my places in one go. That is the glory of the Inter Rail Pass. If you are bored in one place, just jump on a train and leave sooner than you planned. If you stop off in another place not planning to stay, but find something amazing to detain you, just hang around longer than planned. That is why going on holiday by plane and just flying from A to B then back home to A again is so boring. Yes, let me allow myself one Grand Tour a year. Then I can just dip into northern Italy for a day or two, just dip into Switzerland and the Alps for a day or two. Get little tasters of those places I have always wanted to go to but will probably never have the time or money to ever really explore as much as I want. If I allow myself one Grand Tour a year, I will be free to go to as many beaches and clear blue seas as —— wants the rest of the year, to try to erase my guilt and shame at leaving her alone! See! I have already talked myself back into travelling alone!

I think my sub-conscious knew I was edging towards returning to a Grand Tour of Europe I can certainly in no way afford and deep down do not want to go on

January 17, 2017 § Leave a comment

I think my sub-conscious knew I was edging towards returning to a Grand Tour of Europe I can certainly in no way afford, and deep down do not want to go on, as I do not want to leave —– anymore, but still I was getting closer to doing it, so my sub-conscious knew it has to throw a huge spanner in the works, and make sure I did not make that terrible mistake again. The virus is my also nagging desire to go back to Europe, and as long as that is in my system, and as long as the consequent repulsion at the thought of going back to Europe is also in my system, so the infection will persist and not lose an iota of its virulence. The infection is manifest visual representation of the battle that is waging inside me, Jakob with the Angel, Gandalf with the Balrog, over whether I go back to Europe or not. The infection is me telling myself: No! Do not do something you really do not want to do! Resist your old temptation! You must fight against slipping back into that old addiction, travelling, travelling, travelling, all with money you do not have! Do not slip back into the plus £20,000 debts again! There will not be another financial miracle sent your way to get you out of it next time! That was your second chance and don’t blow it!

It is funny when I find old notes from previous holidays previously disregarded

January 12, 2017 § Leave a comment

It is funny when I find old notes from previous holidays previously disregarded. When I look back at some trips there may be one or two things that I always remember that trip for, but then when I find my old notes from that trip I find those one or two things were never even mentioned by me at the time. When I put old notes that I have just rediscovered into my book so often they instantly become the best and most powerful part of the book. Munich is really where it all began for me. It is where I was born as a European traveller. I got the Eurostar to Brussels and after taking no more than one step outside the Gare du Midi station into the alien Brussels street, I changed straight on to the night train to Munich. Arriving at the crack of dawn next morning with no German language, no German money, nowhere to stay, that is where I began to learn how to be a traveller. That was the start of my first Grand Tour. I itch to start another (literally & metaphorically).

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