October 18, 2016 §
Blue skies over Koln Station’s beautiful grey girders (almost 90% of Europe’s most beautiful buildings are railway stations); a very pleasant autumn day.
October 13, 2016 §
Koln station lived up to its reputation for beautiful nubile young girls. The Turkish girl behind the counter in Presse in blue & white stripe blouse so tight that not only did the buttons threaten to pop but the blouse bulged open to reveal almost all of her naked right tit. Quite intoxicating. Turks again! People pick their bags and coats up and rush off the train, then 10 minutes or so later they quite meekly return and sit back in their seats. Finally after 85 minutes we are moving—once more unto Berlin, meine Damen und Herren! I now have two seats to myself to spread out which has saved everything. The length of the journey no longer bothers me at all; at last I have leg room. The train driver has just made an announcement which has the remaining passengers rolling in the aisles in hilarity. German humour, as usual, has passed right over my head. It is quite sad that a 16 week evening class course in German a few years ago has still left me completely unable to understand a blind word anybody says to me. My life is to be lived in the permanent condition of travel, I see that now. To be carried permanently in suspension like a piece of silt in a river. Lovely to be moving, lovely to feel fresh cool air in the cabin, lovely to have space to stretch out. I have 10 days till I have to go back to work; I am in no hurry! If I lose time tonight I can just stay an extra day or two in Berlin to make up for it. This room to spread out in is bliss.
September 12, 2016 §
So the highlights of this holiday were the Turkish blonde newsreader on TRT [I did not go out in Brussels Monday night because I thought I would keep my powder dry for Cologne, but I needn’t have worried] and the incredible blonde ponytail girl in green cowl neck top over massive huge tits in Koln Hbf. I have never seen so many pretty girls in a station as I saw in the Hbf last night. I have not had one genuine unforced erection on this entire trip, remaining in a state of flaccidness the whole time. So what for my September trip—it has to be Frankfurt or Berlin, where one is guaranteed some bang for one’s buck. Nostalgia may take me first to Munich, for the same feeble girls I saw in Stardust last night? So far for so little point. What is the use of travelling at all. To live in suspension, that is all. In an unreal bubble. I saw there were some videokabins in Dr Muellers in Hohenzollern but Hohenzollernring is the busy beating heart of Cologne nightlife, so nothing at all private about it. On the way back to the hotel I saw another place in Friesenwall, Café Manouche, with a quite sexy looking girl sitting at the bar, but I was so depressed and pissed off by now, I did not go in. Cologne is no town for dirty old men. And finally my little pen has run out.
May 27, 2016 §
I nearly missed the train to Köln. Had to run to catch it by the skin of my teeth. So on our way to Berlin. With no enthusiasm. But I can’t just keep watching —– at the ——– as my only enjoyment. Polish my books into finished jewels. You don’t realise how extraordinary your life is. I lead an extraordinary life. And have (had?) an extraordinary partner. I have not seen one single attractive woman on this trip. How excited these cross-European train journeys used to make me. Not anymore. I left home just 24 hours ago. It feels longer. Are those highs gone forever? Perhaps I am cured of the old addiction after all but just need to realise it. Then what is left? Writing my four books about the years of that addiction. Enjoying —–. There is an awful lot to enjoy in —–. Helping her study for another career. Travelling with her. I love German architecture. Elegant but strong. Cultured but powerful. We have left the Dusseldorf chimes behind. I think after this she will never love me like she did; maybe not love me at all anymore. Perhaps she has already replaced me in her heart with someone new (or old). Will I keep my seat all the way? Or will its rightful owner claim it at Dortmund?