When people are trying to hurt you there is no need to try to take revenge on them

January 5, 2017 § 1 Comment

When people are trying to hurt you there is no need to try to take revenge on them. I am a great believer that the universe will exact its revenge on them. The universe has the scales, and will always seek to redress the balance when a great wrong has been done to you. Van Gogh did not need to get revenge on those who were so vicious to him; Oscar Wilde did not need to get revenge on those who were so vicious to him; it is Van Gogh who is the most famous and loved painter in the world now; it is Oscar Wilde whose plays fill the West End, and has his statue opposite the Charing Cross Hotel, and his window (stained inevitably) in Westminster Abbey. No one knows the names or cares to remember those small stunted people who tried to destroy Van Gogh and Wilde; the universe saw to it that they won in the end. All those years when people were so vicious to me, threw themselves at me like wolves, smashed their brains out like moths against a blazing lighthouse, punched themselves to exhaustion like George Foreman against Ali so that I could then just start to pick them off, I never needed to take revenge. I knew I would win, and they would lose. The universe always watches and knows where there is right and where there is wrong, and soon adjusts the scales. That is why I worship Justice Palaces so much, and get more emotional in front of the great Justice Palaces, such as the Palais de Justice in Brussels or the Justiz Palast in Munich, than I do in any Cathedral, though Cathedrals move me, too. As do Bourses (or Central Banks), such as the Bourse in Brussels, or the Bank of England. A pound in my pocket will buy me one naked dance from a stripper; £20 will buy me a ten minute tryst with a Soho model; €60 will buy me half an hour with a Berlin floozy in Mon Cheri’s black James Pryde bedrooms. So Bourses represent to me the power to buy Eros. To open up the gates of lustful pleasures. It always amuses me that I can pick up the No.76 bus in London outside the Waldorf Hotel in Aldwych and it will then take me past the front doors of the Royal Courts of Justice, St Paul’s Cathedral AND the Bank of England.

Not only did the Esmeraldas of Vienna throw themselves at me like moths bashing their brains out against a lighthouse

January 2, 2017 § Leave a comment

Not only did the Esmeraldas of Vienna throw themselves at me like moths bashing their brains out against a lighthouse, me completely unmoved by their erotic blandishments, but on the other side of the coin I threw myself at Vienna like a moth bashing my brains out against the lighthouse. I navigate by the light of the moon, and my moons are Berlin, Munich and Brussels (no longer Vienna, I think). Anyway whether Vienna was a failed visit or not, travelling has brought me back to life again. My mind is working again, my great rivers are flowing again and threatening to flood their banks! My pulsing, surging torrents, my Niles, my Rhines, my Mississippis are irrigating my long dried up lands! Dry valleys and riverbeds are flowing with water once more! Everything is starting to be dark green and lush again, like Madeira! Storm-tossed, storm-lashed, dark green Madeira! Where I think me and -—- had our best moments! When I am exiled like Napoleon I want to be exiled and imprisoned on Madeira.

There was a time when people tried to use my sordid private life against me and bring it out into the open in order to destroy me

December 10, 2016 § Leave a comment

There was a time when people tried to use my sordid private life against me, and bring it out into the open in order to destroy me. The fact that I exult in my sordidness, and in response flaunted it in their faces more and more, provoked, provoked, provoked, eventually confounded them. Whenever anyone tries to make you ashamed of doing something, do it more. This is my mantra in life. I let them bash their brains out against me, like moths against a lighthouse. When people attack you, you can play them like a piano. It is the ultimate compliment and you should be thrilled by it! They only attack you because they are jealous of you, and want exactly what you have got. The beautiful girl at school gets attacked because the attackers want her beauty. The intelligent boy at school gets attacked because the attackers want his intelligence. This is the way of the world, and when you learn it, you can ride the stormy seas with no fear. The hard thing is it can take many years until you do learn this.

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