It is funny when I find old notes from previous holidays previously disregarded

January 12, 2017 § Leave a comment

It is funny when I find old notes from previous holidays previously disregarded. When I look back at some trips there may be one or two things that I always remember that trip for, but then when I find my old notes from that trip I find those one or two things were never even mentioned by me at the time. When I put old notes that I have just rediscovered into my book so often they instantly become the best and most powerful part of the book. Munich is really where it all began for me. It is where I was born as a European traveller. I got the Eurostar to Brussels and after taking no more than one step outside the Gare du Midi station into the alien Brussels street, I changed straight on to the night train to Munich. Arriving at the crack of dawn next morning with no German language, no German money, nowhere to stay, that is where I began to learn how to be a traveller. That was the start of my first Grand Tour. I itch to start another (literally & metaphorically).

Every time I see someone reading a paperback book, I imagine it is mine

October 23, 2016 § Leave a comment

Every time I see someone reading a paperback book, I imagine it is mine, written by me. Trotsky in Wonderland, or Trotsky Through the Looking Glass, or Edward Symmons, or The Stripper; and that is what keeps me going. That is what my whole life is working towards.
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The difference with this book is it is the other side of a real relationship

October 21, 2016 § Leave a comment

The difference with this book is it is the other side of a real relationship, the first of my life. My first four books were written as a man who had never had a real relationship with a woman (not even had friends). Now by the greatest miracle of my life my favourite dancer became my wife, and the woman I love more than any other in the world, and that has totally irrevocably altered my landscape. It takes a lot of adjusting to.

Who else writes about strippers and whores?

October 6, 2016 § 2 Comments

Who else writes about strippers and whores? Who else writes about the Fly, Mon Cheri, Golden Gate, Monte Carlo, Chocolat, Stutti Frutti, Ciro, Mazurka, Atlantic City, Sexyland, Empire, Pour Platin (7 of these 12 having already closed down)? It is a unique world, the world of feather boas and suspender belts in a red half light of a basement, and no one else documents this world, and charts its rises and its falls.

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In a hundred years people will look back at Trotsky in Wonderland and Trotsky Through the Looking Glass, Edward Symmons and The Stripper, as an incredible record of life in London and central Europe in the years from 1996 onwards

October 6, 2016 § Leave a comment

In a hundred years people will look back at Trotsky in Wonderland and Trotsky Through the Looking Glass, Edward Symmons and The Stripper, as an incredible record of life in London and central Europe in the years from 1996 onwards. The strip clubs and brothels of central Europe, the great strippers and whores of London, Berlin, Vienna, Munich and Brussels. Autismus, Lotta, The Cold Icy Air of the Mountains, Casanova (Lost Wanderings), The Double Life. A Baedeker for the gentleman connoisseur of bosom and buttock, of stage dancing amidst great ferns and violins. I have always believed I am creating a great body of work that will have importance and relevance, and my intuition is rarely wrong. My intuition told me that —– was the one for me despite her being so patently out of my league and wanted by everybody and me never even having had a proper girlfriend before. My belief in her was unshakable and I was right. That was the first miracle. It gives me encouragement that the second miracle is attainable too. When Pepys was writing his diary, “I went down to the shipping office today to pick up some letters”, not many people would have seen much value or interest in that, but now, 200 years later, it gives us an unsurpassed window into how life was in that era. Writing is like coal; at the time the words are laid down and the ink is still wet they have little richness, but as they sink down into the past, and have layer after layer piled on top of them, they acquire richness, they turn into coal, diamonds, and oil. One day the Trotsky books will be viewed as having an incredible richness and significance.

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I now have a craving to go see the Blechen pictures in Berlin

August 28, 2016 § Leave a comment

I now have a craving to go see the Blechen pictures in Berlin Schloss Charlottenburg, and in Alte National Gallery. My four books Autismus, Lotta, The Cold Icy Air of the Mountains, and Casanova (Lost Wanderings) should be collected in one volume like The Cornelius Chronicles and the title will be Journals 1996-2007. The cover will be Blechen’s In the Palmhouse that I saw on that very first trip to Berlin, though each individual book can keep its title pages of Die Sunde, The Kiss, Tilla Durieux as Circe and Mars, Venus & Amor. I am happiest when writing, working on my books, I truly am. The hot summer sun outside, the ferns and trees blowing in the gentle breeze, butterflies fluttering in and out of the open French windows, some classical music playing from the gramophone, I work on, chipping away at the manuscripts. I can achieve a perfect balanced life by going to park or cinema or butterflies with —– in the daytime, then in the evenings shut myself away with my classical music my ferns and my writing. —– brings a South American exoticism to my life. We went out to a public park, Finsbury, and it was absolutely disgusting with litter all over the place. The trees and flowers were beautiful, but the overflowing litter bins and rubbish scattered everywhere you like made it repulsive. Visible evidence one suspects of the Government spending cuts already making themselves felt. How preferable to return to the lush ferns, fauna and flora of my studies and libraries at home, the French windows open to my own gardens, my own butterflies and aphids. My kakapo night parrot hopping up onto my shoulder and shatting down my nightgown. To put my Pintscher on the gramophone and resume my writing and reading, Byron’s biography today. I just have to see my way through any difficult moments in my marriage, because it is the richness of my life, the miracle of my life, the saving of my life. In —– I achieved an impossible dream, which makes me think it may yet be possible to really achieve something with my writing.

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The great thing about my four books

June 30, 2016 § Leave a comment

The great thing about my four books, and now the first 8 pages of my fifth, is that they are full of passion, and truth—the psychosis of AUTISMUS, the longing for Lotta in LOTTA, the breaking through the barriers of THE COLD ICY AIR OF THE MOUNTAINS, the tiring of travelling and falling in love of CASANOVA. It all rings so true and is dripping with passion, truly written in blood and tears. The preparing to go to Vienna is now going to be such a big part of the new book. The visit itself will probably pass without a word—I shall not have time.

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