November 11, 2017 § Leave a comment
I regret giving away so much of self in psychotherapy, but I needed it as a crutch at the time. Even though I eventually rejected it, and reacted against it, and kicked the crutch away, I would never have got through those dark days without it. I argued against it and in arguing against it I found myself—so from that point of view, in rejecting psychotherapy I found my path to recovery—so can I say psychotherapy failed or succeeded?!
My problem with psychotherapy was I felt she was asking me to be someone who was not fully my true self
August 28, 2016 § Leave a comment
My problem with psychotherapy was I felt she was asking me to be someone who was not fully my true self, but to live in some corset; and sometimes I think this affair is the same. I feel a constant frustration that I cannot be fully myself every day, and that breeds a low level resentment which is quite damaging to romance, or lust. “After two decades obscured by scaffolding, the Leaning Tower of Pisa basks in its full quirky glory”. I wanted Sarah to help me bask in my quirky glory; instead she wanted to knock me down and build a new tower, just like everyone else’s. I don’t feel I can bask in my full quirky glory now either. Perhaps I can only ever be alone. To be happy I have to be unhappy?